Gym Intimidation: Should you just “suck it up”?

Tips to overcoming gym intimidation (Gymidation)

We all hear it constantly that exercise is very important. There are so many benefits of exercise from mental health, to antiaging effects. A great way for most to get their exercise is by going to a gym. Gyms are equipped with a variety of tools to get us in shape. However, going to a gym can come easier to some more than others for many reasons.

As a new comer or one who hasn’t stepped foot in a fitness facility in a while, feeling uncomfortable and intimidated is very common. But it seems that there is more to it than feeling not confident in how to use machines or proper exercise technique.

For some women, in particular, they find stepping into a gym very difficult. Some women report feeling intimidated by looks from other men and feeling judged by their appearance.


So, what is there to do about this issue? Based on internet forums, fitness magazine articles, and chatting with fellow gym goers, here is a list of popular ways women cope with getting their workout in while managing their “gymidation”.

  1. Ignore People:

People stare, men stare at women they find attractive, sometimes people need to look at something that’s moving. Rather than being bothered by it, find strategies that would help you ignore the gazes. Put on headphones, stay at the back of the room, don’t respond to comments (you can’t hear them anyway). Soon you will find that it’ll no longer bother you.

  1. Dress in a matter that will not bring attention:

As comfortable stretchy leggings can be, wearing them might bring unwarranted attention. So, dress in baggy clothes, don’t wear any makeup, and wear a hat to cover your hair. Not only will this prevent men hitting on you, they might avoid you completely. It also helps to put on an angry frown so that no one would ever think twice about asking you how your day was. Oh, and avoid mirrors, even those most gyms are surrounded by them.

  1. Don’t attempt an exercise in which you are unsure on how to execute:

Trying something new might lead to doing it incorrectly and therefore others would mock you on your poor form. Instead, do the basics you know well. Weights and machines can be hard to use and put you at risk of looking silly. An option is to attend a class (stay at the back) in which you are not required to use any weights or machines. That way you are safe from looking foolish and you blend into the crowd. And when in doubt, just do some stretching, everyone can stretch.

  1. Don’t perform exercises that are perceived as advance (especially for a woman).

Avoiding areas in the weight room that are populated with men and don’t do lifts using the same weight as the guy beside you. You will eliminate the belief that you are intimidating. It’s good to be confident, but not too confident. If someone offers exercise advice or to be a spotter, accept it to show you don’t believe you’re “all that”.

  1. And Finally, Suck it up!

You are not the only one who feels awkward in the gym and most likely others have it worse than you. Plus, isn’t getting attention and looks a compliment? Eventually you’ll get used to it.


Do these tips make you a bit pissed off? Yeah, me too! So, here are some tips and insights that might be more helpful.

  1. Change Gyms:

If you feel uncomfortable every time you go to your gym, it could be because it’s not the gym for you? The gym environment can be a very social one (which is great), but if you feel you don’t connect with the other members and don’t feel that you don’t belong, you don’t have to force yourself to be there. If you can, try finding a place that feels more welcoming for you. Lately, there are more options from Crossfit boxes to your local YMCA that cater to different needs and populations. But, if your current place is the only one available to you, try finding a friend who would join you.

  1. Don’t believe the advertisements:

It’s common for commercial gyms to show advertising of their services and products by displaying images of very fit models using the equipment with ease. Although it can make their product appealing, the reality is that most who exercise look like average people (maybe a bit fitter looking). Social media posts on fitness can also lower one’s confidence, but there is a lot that is hyper glamorized and sexualized, that contains distortion from reality.

  1. Know that every single person in the gym was a beginner once.


In order to become stronger, get in shape, and more fit you need to gradually work harder and harder several times a week for many years. Those who go to the gym who look muscular, lean, and perform advance exercises and lift heavy weights weren’t that when they started. As long as you are consistent, work hard, do it safely, you can become more confident in your efforts to become fit and healthy. A key point to know is that despite how a person may look or perform in the gym, he or she may still feel unhappy with his/her progress based on his/her ideas of progress (this is very linked to point 2.).

  1. Hire a fitness professional/get resources

If you are unsure on going to a gym because you don’t know what to do, invest in some training, go to a beginner class, or read some great books and articles on how to start on the right path (I’ll be sending a list of recommended resources soon). If you have any medical concerns or injuries, having a trainer is highly recommended as a professional can give you the knowledge and tools on how to exercise properly to get you the best results without risk of further injury or health problems. Feeling competent in your workouts greatly increases your confidence levels and keeps you motivated, and later who knows, you might actually start to enjoy the gym.

  1. Report Harassment

Lastly, if you wanted to leave a gym because of bullying or harassment, report it. These behaviours are inappropriate in any setting, the gym is no exception. If the management at the gym is not taking you seriously or responding properly, that is the fault of the staff, not you being irrational or bothersome. Harassment is sadly a common thing, especially for women, but if we work to report it and support those who speak out, more efforts will be made to reduce it. Unfortunately, most don’t speak up.


What are your thoughts and experiences with gym intimidation? Do any of these tips work for you?





How to Successfully Start on Your Goals.

Authors: Florence Scheepers, personal trainer and nutrition coach, and Dr. Elisabeth Scheepers, therapist and personal & executive coach.  

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”- Tony Robbins

The above is a very strong quote that best reflects our motivation to change. We make the decision to change our behaviours when we say “enough” and when we understand that our current state is not serving us or making our lives better, but is making our lives more difficult. People do not just make changes, they need to be ready and this “readiness” follows a process from precontemplation to contemplation, to preparation, to action, followed by maintenance (DiClemente & Prochaska, 1998). Not all trials result in positive change and people may fall back before trying again.  For a great summary go here

Often people make a choice to change their behaviours after a particular incident, or life altering event. This can be a warning from a family doctor,a new relationship, the birth of a child or the death of a good friend.

However, to change can be very painful and appear overwhelming. We envision ourselves in a better position than our current state, and create a goal that matches with our overall vision. Unfortunately, we may create goals are too far out of our reach, unrealistic or way too big and these are the reasons why people feel that they failed.  Attempting to reach unattainable goals – and consequently failing – can lead to depression and anxiety. We might view ourselves as a failure, and lose confidence in ourselves and therefore the hope that we can ever accomplish “anything”. These negative thoughts, often referred to as “internal dialogue” exacerbate symptoms of depression.

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If we imagine ourselves reaching perfect health, including our ideal weight and fitness level, within three months’ time after having been inactive and eating too much or not the right food, we expect too much. Imagine trying to reach the perfect piece of fruit from the top tree branch. But, there are ones below it that are also good and in reach.  If our goals were to walk 10 minutes every day for five days a week and to eat a healthy breakfast for 5 days a week, rather than run 10 km a day and eat a 100% whole food, zero junk diet, we are much more likely to succeed.

If you ask yourself honestly on a scale between 1 and 10, what’s the probability of running 10 km a day, chances are, it’s a low number. But on a scale between 1 and 10, the probability to be able to walk 10 minutes a day for 5 days will be much higher. Small successes are confidence building and confidence in ourselves feels good as we will have hope that we can maintain the change and do even better!

When embarking on a change, picture what you would be like if you had everything you needed and wanted. Imagine how your life would be different, what you would be doing, how it would make you feel. Perhaps it’s been a long time since you’ve exercised and you want to improve your fitness; can you imagine yourself being fit, feeling fit, and exercising regularly? Then create a goal that matches your vision. Think about action goals. Goals that promote change need to be actions or behaviour that are concrete, rewarding and achievable. If your vision is to be more fit, working out and exercising are behavioural goals.

If you dream about being a homeowner but you have never saved a dollar in life, you will need to start writing down your monthly expenses and identify where you can cut some of your spendings. This activity might give you confidence that you can easily put away $50.00 or $100 per month.

When you are not satisfied in your career and are envious of those who have more responsibility as well as a higher income, you might have to start with identifying your interests and match these with your abilities and personality. This means thinking about different careers, what you like about these and finding out what background and experience you require to be successful. In addition to this, the career you have in mind needs to be a good fit with who you are as a person and with your values. A career coach can help.

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Once you have a goal, ask yourself, on a scale between 1 and 10, how confident are you that you can reach that behavioural goal most days of the week? If the number is lower than 7, change the goal to something more manageable. Maybe exercising 5 days a week is a 3/10, but working out 2 days a week is a 9/10. Pick a goal that you can reach with some degree of confidence.

Once you picked your goal, track how many times you have reached it in a week. If you can reach the goal 5-6 days of the week with ease, 3-4 times out of the month, you might be ready to add another goal or up the ante. Remember, the most important component of the goal setting is that they are consistently achievable with a reasonable amount of effort – while also being enjoyable. That is also the reason why it is better to do these new behaviours 5 out of 7 days rather than every day of the week.

Progress isn’t a straight line. There are many turns, ups and downs. But any progress, no matter how small, is progress. With each small victory, we become more confident and are more likely to reach more complex goals with gradually on directly observable results. Often, working on behavioural change, looking at end result only, can be daunting as progress is slow. Giving yourself credit for your engagement in a project no matter how small, helps you to focus on the process as well. To use the example of walking, when walking in nature, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your back and the mild breeze in your face, helps you to stay in the moment and find some joyment in the activity. Having achieved your goal of the day in walking time or distance, is the added bonus! Engaging in enjoyable activities increases happiness and when an activity is fun we are more likely to repeat the same.

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When you are unsure how to start, consider asking a coaching professional who can help you with giving you guidance and support. A coach asks you questions and helps you to identify the right goals and a coach can help you with a template to record and measure your progress. Also, a coach can hold you accountable for reaching the goals you have set for yourself, giving you a better chance to succeed.

Whether it’s related to fitness, nutrition, relationships, or career choices, a coach with the right expertise can be a great asset.